State Of Grace
by SomethingOutOfNothing
Summary: The story of how Dean Winchester became best friends with Castiel Novak was… Well, interesting to say the least. It all started with Castiel being half naked and Dean dating his sister… High school AU.
1. Chapter 1

**I posted this on Tumblr already, so I thought I'd post it here, too. :) Review?**

**Usual disclaimers, I don't own Supernatural, or any of its characters.**

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The story of how Dean Winchester became best friends with Castiel Novak was… Well, interesting to say the least. Dean wasn't really even aware of Castiel's existence, outside of the fact that he was the youngest of the Novaks, and there were a lot of them, so that was pretty much common knowledge.

Dean knew as much as everyone else about the Novaks. There were five of them, big family, pretty tight. They had a big ass house, but he supposed, with five kids you'd have to, right? They'd moved to town about six months ago, at the start of the school year. Their father was some big business man, so they were kinda loaded. There was Michael, who apparently was at college, Balthazar, who was travelling the world, Gabriel, who was a senior, and then there was Anna and Castiel, both juniors.

Dean honest wouldn't have given a crap about any of that, except he was curious. Why? Because _damn _Anna looked good. Cheerleader, long legs, red hair, Dean was pretty sure they were made for each other, the first time he saw her. Dean didn't get around half as much as everyone seemed to think, and he was completely capable of holding a relationship for more than a week. Sure, he flirted a lot, but that didn't mean he slept with everyone he flirted with. According to the rest of the student body, it did, Dean just… Didn't deny it. Any publicity was good publicity, right?

It took him all of two days to convince Anna to give him her number, and two weeks to get her to go out with him (he was going to do this one right, because the last thing he needed was four angry brothers after him)

Three weeks into dating Anna (to the amazement of everyone he knew, including his little brother, Sam) she invited him over to his place after school. At first he was he was all for it, but then she'd told him that one of her brothers would be home. He didn't even ask which one before replying, "I don't know Anna…"

Anna sighed and fixed him with that look that all the girls he'd dated seemed to have, the Dean-why-are-you-so-frustrating look. "Dean, my brother won't be a problem, okay? He'll probably just be in his room." She gave him another look, the please-I-really-want-you-to-do-this look. "Please? Besides, you can't avoid them all forever. You'll have to meet my brothers sometime."

He laughed, but it was without humor, since his brain was busy filling he was imagining what would happen to him if Anna's brothers ever found out what they do in the back of the Impala. He cleared his throat, and hoped he didn't look too pale. "Ah, yeah, alright," he finally agreed. "I'll let Sam know, and meet you at my car after school, okay?" Because really, how bad could it be? Anna was promising alone time, and who was Dean to turn it down?

"Great," she replied, giving him a quick kiss before heading to her class in a flurry of red hair, leaving Dean standing, stunned in the hall. Why? Why did he have to meet her brothers something? Dean was pretty sure he could go his whole life without wanting to meet them. The only thing was… He really liked Anna, to his own surprise. It wasn't just that she was hot anymore, it was that she was hot and funny and fun, and _God he was so screwed. _

That was how Dean found himself being let into the aforementioned big ass house. It was nice, and not as snobby and obviously rich as he'd thought it would be. There were family photos, mostly of the five kids pulling faces, or standing in weird poses. The Novaks were just like him and Sam, Dean decided, except with more money and more of them. Maybe Anna's brothers wouldn't be so bad, Dean thought as he followed her through to the kitchen, which was very in scale to the rest of the house, meaning it was massive. Anna gave him a quick tour of the house, kitchen, living room, her brother's rooms, her bedroom, and it was when they got to the bathroom that things started to get interesting.

Interesting as in just as they were walking away from it, because Anna's brother was in there, taking a shower, he walked out. Anna obviously hadn't told him they'd be having company, because he only had a towel wrapped low around his hips. It took him a few seconds to notice that Dean was standing there, and when he did, he looked between Dean and Anna for a few seconds, before turning around and walking into one of the bedrooms without a word.

"Well," Anna said, turning to him, taking in the confused look on his face. "You just met my little brother." _That _was Anna's nerdy little brother? When Anna had told Dean about her brothers, he'd pictured him a lot different. Anna had told Dean that Castiel was a total genius, so of course he'd pictured him with glasses, scrawny… Typical nerd.

But with eyes and a body like that, there was no way he was a typical nerd.

And _wow _that sounded gay.

Dean didn't even try to redeem himself from that. There was no way he could make that sound less gay.

"That's…" He paused, trying to remember the order of the Novaks. "Castiel?" Anna nodded, and Dean felt a wave of relief wash over him. It would have been a little awkward if he'd said the wrong name. After three weeks with a girl, he knew he was supposed to know, at least who were brothers were, but there were so many of them, and they had such weird names, he tried to remember them, but he couldn't help it.

Dean was still a little dazed as Anna led him to her bedroom, but he soon pulled himself together and pushed all his confusion aside, enough to do what he did best.


	2. Chapter 2

It took Dean two days, and some serious thought for him to realize that he actually had some classes with Castiel. And by 'some' he meant five: History, physics, chemistry, English and math. Funnily enough, Dean didn't choose those subjects for himself, well, he did, but not of his own free will. Apparently, he had to put more effort into school, or he was going to lose his place on the football team. And by 'put more effort in' they had meant 'take classes that you'll barely pass, but will look good.' Dean didn't know why he hadn't noticed Castiel in his classes before, at least, until he walked into English and saw the youngest Novak sitting in the far corner, where no one else sat. Dean couldn't help it, he sat next to him. Getting in good with the younger brother would put him in Anna's good books, right? That was what he told himself his reasons were. "Hey." What a great opening line. "I don't know if you remember me-"

"I remember you, Dean. You're very hard to forget," Castiel replied, before Dean could even finish his sentence. He didn't even bother to look up. "You are dating my sister, after all." Well, duh, of course that was why Castiel remembered him. _Not _because he'd seen Castiel wearing just a towel earlier that week.

"So… Shakespeare, huh? I don't really get any of this crap," Dean said with an awkward laugh. It wasn't like the guy was hard to talk to, just the fact that Castiel was showing absolutely zero interest in him. It was a new feeling for Dean. He didn't like it.

"You don't want to sleep with me, and you don't want to date me, so why are you talking to me, Dean?" Castiel asked suddenly, finally looking up at Dean with a frown. Dean's mind went blank. _Damn those eyes._

And there was the gay thing again. What the hell was going on with him these days? It wasn't like he was gay, because he really wasn't. He didn't find guys attractive. Not usually. Sometimes, though, he just got… Urges. The last time had been with a guy he met on summer break, Benny. It hadn't lasted long, because Benny was just a visitor to town, and Dean was still friends with him, but it didn't go any further than that anymore.

But no, he was allowed to feel the same thing for Castiel. He was Anna's younger brother. Anna would have his balls. Besides, he liked Anna, he really, really did. "I dunno man, you just seemed cool, and you're Anna's brother, so I thought you might want to hang out sometime," Dean finally answered, only just remembering the question Castiel had asked him. "And I'm really not that bad."

"You had better hope you're not that bad. We're very protective of our sister, Dean," Castiel said, turning his attention back to his drawing, where he appeared to be drawing an angel. Dean was impressed, it was pretty freaking awesome. Castiel didn't speak with malice, or with the intention of scaring Dean, it was just a simple fact. For some reason that scared Dean even more than the statement itself.

"Look Cas," Dean paused at Castiel's raised eyebrow, taking a few seconds to realize what he'd done. "Castiel," he corrected himself. "I really like Anna. You've got nothing to worry about, but as I said, you seem like a cool guy. I just want to get to know you a bit."

Castiel eyed him for a few seconds, before gathering up his books, making Dean realize that they'd been talking for the whole lesson. Well, the whole lesson he'd been there, he'd come in half way through as it was. "Okay," he agreed, and Dean beamed at him. "I have a free lesson now, what do you have?"

Dammit, he had gym. Dean had never hated his favourite lesson so much. "Gym," he muttered. "But hey, what are you doing during lunch? Maybe we could hang out then?" Dean knew he sounded hopeful, but he really couldn't bring himself to care. He was genuinely interested in spending time with Castiel, even if he didn't totally understand why.

"I don't go into the cafeteria," Castiel murmured. "If you want to find me at lunch, I'll be behind the old music room." No one went behind the old music room, Dean thought with a frown. "It's quiet there," Castiel explained, as if he could read Dean's mind. Dean was starting to worry that he might actually be able to.

With that, Castiel stood up, and started to walk out, leaving Dean behind. But to Dean's surprise, he suddenly turned around. "Cas is fine, if you'd prefer that, Dean." Castiel have Dean a small smile, and continued walking.

Dean just sat there staring blankly at the space where Castiel- Cas- Had been.


	3. Chapter 3

Gym was painfully slow, and Dean had hardly been paying attention, but then again, he didn't have to. He wasn't one to brag (unless someone were to ask Sam), but he could run circles around everyone else in his class. Finally though, the lunch bell ran, and Dean was changed and gone before anyone could ask what the hell was going on.

He quickly made his way to where Cas had told him to meet him, not wanting the other boy to think he wasn't going to show. He found Cas there already, with his sketchbook sitting in his lap, he looked up at Dean when he arrived, but otherwise didn't make any other indication he'd seen him. "Hey man, is it okay if I sit?" Dean asked, more for something to say, rather than actually looking for permission.

Cas nodded. "Of course, Dean," he murmured, closing his sketchbook as Dean made himself comfortable on the grass next to Cas. Really, Dean shouldn't have expected Cas to be the talkative type, but he didn't really know how to start a conversation with him. It wasn't awkward, just a little… Quiet.

"So what do you do here…? Where no one else is?" Dean asked looking around, and sure enough there wasn't another student in sight. It was kind of nice, actually. No body watching him, he didn't have everyone talking over each other, trying to get his attention.

Cas shrugged. "Sometimes I write, sometimes I draw, sometimes I play guitar, sometimes I do my homework," he shrugged again, looking away from Dean. "And sometimes I just sit here and relax."

Dean nodded. "You can do all that?" He asked, raising an eyebrow in surprise. "That's pretty… Amazing."

"I'm the creative type," Cas replied simply. And judging by his drawing from earlier, yeah, Dean would agree with that.

"Anna says you're some kind of genius too," Dean said, offhandedly. It wasn't like it was a big deal to him, really. It was impressive, sure, but Sam could do his level math, and Dean counted that as genius. The kid was damn smart. He was used to people being smarter than him, so it didn't really matter to him how much they were smarter by. "Is she exaggerating or does she mean that literally?" He asked curiously.

Cas sighed, before eyeing him up slightly, as if he wasn't sure if he wanted to give up the information. "Literally," he mumbled about a minute later. "I have… A very high IQ, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't share that fact with anybody. I hide it well, and the last thing I need is people demanding I do their homework."

"Nah, your secret's safe with me, dude," he replied, pulling a sandwich out of his bag. It was fairly boring, but he wasn't complaining. "You eaten already?" He asked, taking a bite.

Cas just shook his head. "I'm not really hungry," he replied, instead watching Dean eat. "I don't get hungry very often." Dean eyed him for a second, before ripping off a part of his sandwich and handing it to Cas. "Eat it, Cas. I don't share my food with just anybody, ask my brother."

"Your brother… Sam, right?" Cas asked, biting into the bread.

Dean nodded, in confirmation. "Yeah, and you've got… Hang on… There's Michael, Balthazar, Gabriel, Anna, then you, right?" He grinned when Cas nodded once. "Man, if you don't mind me asking… What's with the weird names? I mean Michael's a normal name, But Anna's full name, and you and Gabriel and _Balthazar. _What kind of names are they?"

"They're names of angels, Dean," Cas replied simply, as if he'd been asked that question more times than he could count. Which, Dean reflected, he probably had. "My mother was into angels and all of that sort of thing… She even studied theology at college, and my father is very religious, so…" He shrugged. "Mix those two together and you get five kids named after angels. Balthazar and I have the worst though, because at least Gabe and Anna shorten theirs to decent sounding names." Cas laughed a little, before taking another bite.

Dean had quite a few questions that had been raised by that, but the first thing that came out of his mouth was, "I don't know about that, Cas sound okay to me."

Cas looked up at him, finishing off the sandwich that Dean had given him. "You're the only one that calls me that. My father calls me Castiel, and my siblings come up with all sorts of… Interesting names. Usually they call me Cassie though, as annoying as it is." He didn't ask what his mother called him, getting the feeling that he already knew what the answer was. Anna didn't talk about it, and Cas apparently didn't want to mention it either, but the 'my mother was' from earlier in the conversation made it pretty clear, and it didn't take a genius to see it.

Dean laughed at the thought of Cas being called Cassie, and the look on his face when it happened. "I'll be sure to never call you that, then," he replied, instead of 'I think it's cute'.

"I would appreciate that," Cas replied, standing up and slinging has bag over his shoulder. "The bell is going to go in about five minutes; you might want to get your books now, so that you're not late to history. I don't think you can really afford to be late again."

Cas started to walk away, and since Dean's locker was at the other end of the school to his, Dean didn't follow.

When the bell finally went though, and the students filed in to the classroom, followed by the teacher a few minutes later, to everyone's surprise, Dean Winchester was on time for the first time that year. Maybe he was even a little bit early, considering the teacher was running late. And, just to add to everyone's shock, he sat himself down right next to Castiel.


	4. Chapter 4

That day, after school, Dean went to the Novak's house… Mansion. Whatever. To see Anna. Not Cas. Anna. Yep. Because he wasn't a thirteen year old girl with a crush, and so he didn't need to be around his crush every minute of every day, and y'know what? He wasn't even thinking about him. Not at all. Nope. And he wasn't thinking of Cas as 'his crush', either.

He was pretty sure his own brain was laughing at him. It sounded suspiciously like Sam.

He quickly knocked on the door before his thoughts could get away from him. That was when he met number three Novak: Gabriel. Their meeting was almost as interesting as when Dean had met Cas. Gabriel covered him in water, then topped it off with flour, leaving him covered in a sort of doughy mixture.

Gabriel came racing around the corner, a huge grin on his face, which dropped as soon as he saw his newest victim. "Oh. Crap. Anna's going to kill me." He ran up to Dean, trying to brush Dean off, but only managing to smear it and rub it into Dean's clothes. "Sorry Dean-o, I thought you were my little bro."

"What did you think was me, Gabriel?" Cas asked from the kitchen.

"I thought Dean was you, and he kind of…" He gestured to Dean. "Got splattered." He shrugged, as Cas came into Dean's view.

Cas sighed, gesturing for Dean to come in, ignoring Gabriel completely. "Anna's not home yet, and you look like you need a shower." He sent one more glare in Gabriel's direction, leading Dean up to the bathroom, where they had first met, Dean noticed. "Just… Stay here. You can borrow some of my clothes."

Cas walked into his bedroom, which Dean remembered from Anna's tour and came back a few minutes later with a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. He handed over the clothes. "A word of advice for next time… Use the backdoor. Gabriel prefers to set up his pranks on the front, ever since he got Michael by accident."

Dean wasn't sure how that made sense, exactly, but Cas obviously knew his stuff, since he seemed to be Gabriel's number one target, so he nodded in thanks and walked into the bathroom, hearing, "by the time you finish, Anna should be home. Just go downstairs, I'll tell her to wait for you," just before he closed the door.

It was big, was his first thought after he closed the door. It was probably just short of the size of his bedroom at home. And his bedroom was the biggest room in the house. Dean had already confirmed for himself that the Novaks were definitely as loaded as everyone said they were, if not more, but they didn't flaunt it. Dean respected that.

Ten minutes later, Dean stepped out of the bathroom. He'd found Gabriel's mixture in areas that he'd rather not mention, but it had taken a bit of scrubbing to make sure it was all gone. He raced down the stairs, finding Anna waiting on the couch for him, giving him a sympathetic look. Cas had obviously told her, since Dean seriously doubted Gabriel was going to.

"Sorry about my brother," she said standing up to meet him. "He may be older than Cas and I, but he doesn't act it." She tilted her head up slightly to kiss him, which Dean had no complaints about, except for Gabriel happened to walk past on his way to the kitchen and wolf whistled. Dean rolled his eyes, adjusting to having Gabriel in the house surprisingly easily. Anna just looked pissed, and was sending a glare over Dean's shoulder that didn't bode well for the older Novak later. Cas, Dean noticed, seemed to have made himself scarce.

Anna took his hand and lead him up the stairs, a call of 'no funny business up there, kids!' following them up. Dean couldn't help but chuckle. Anna's room was at the opposite end of the hall to Cas', which Dean only knew because he could hear music coming from one of the other room's, and since it wasn't Gabriel, it had to be Cas.

What surprised him the most, though, was that it was music he recognised. He couldn't believe that Castiel was like his type of music. But there he was, standing outside Anna's room, listening to the music that he could only just hear coming from the youngest Novak's bedroom. "Cas likes ACDC?" Dean asked with a frown.

Anna shrugged. "Sure. He's into all that sort of music. Mum used to like it, believe it or not. He found all her old CD's and records and stuff and fell in love with it. I don't mind some of it, but it's not really my style, same with the rest of my brothers. My brothers prefer Dad's type of music." Dean knew that Anna was a pop girl. Top forty hits, kind of thing. And although he wasn't one to judge, and he could live with it, he was pretty sure if he heard one more Brittany Spears song, he'd go insane. It was a sad statement that he even_knew_ that name.

"Huh… He didn't mention that," Dean murmured, walking in to the room after Anna, closing the door behind himself.

Anna raised an eyebrow at that. "Which brings around my next question," she said, turning to face him, not looking mad or anything, just vaguely amused. "I heard you actually turned up to History today." Everyone knew Dean didn't turn up to History. He did his homework and everything; he was passing, only just but still. He didn't see why he should have to sit through listening to that cranky old, sarcastic, British asshat rattle of dates that he didn't give a damn about.

Yeah so?" He replied, maybe just a little too defensive to be normal, but if Anna noticed, which Dean would bet that she did, she didn't comment.

"And sat down to my little brother." Yeah, Dean couldn't say he wasn't expecting that to spread pretty quickly. But Anna continued before he could say anything else. "Look Dean, I'm not going to go all jealous girlfriend on you or anything. I don't want to keep you completely to myself, you're allowed to be friends with other girls, or my brother if you want to. You can be friends with whoever you like, right? Just… Castiel isn't great with people, he's not bad, he's just not great. He doesn't let people in very often. Don't hurt him, okay? Don't lead him on."

Dean had to admit, Anna was kind of awesome. He nodded. "Yeah. Got it. Don't worry." He smirked, leaning down to kiss Anna slowly, smirking slightly. "Y'know, that's almost the same talk he gave me about you."

"Yeah, well I'll take care of that later," she murmured, pulling Dean towards her bed. Dean was okay with that.

They were almost at her bed (Dean had never thought a bedroom could be so damn big) when Gabriel's voice sounded from outside the door. "It's gone very quiet in there, kids!"

"I'm going to kill him," Anna growled, pressing one more kiss to Dean's lips, before running towards the door and all he could hear from his position on Anna's bed, laughing his ass off, was the sound of Gabriel running down the hall, then down the stairs with shouts of "I'm going to kill you, you immature little-" close behind him, and then ACDC being turned up, drowning them out.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean spent the rest of the week with Cas, much to Cas' obvious surprise. Apparently he'd thought Dean hanging out with him was a onetime thing. Three weeks later, they were still hanging out and soon enough, rumours began to fly that Anna had broken up with him. As much as he was assuring people that that wasn't true, he and Anna were still more than okay, the rumours didn't slow. He supposed that had something to do with the fact that the cheersquad was full of gossipy bitches, but that was just a hunch. Before long, Dean had dumped Anna for Cas. If you believed the rumours, anyway. Dean tried not the think about how it probably stemmed from the fact that he was spending more time with his girlfriend's brother than his girlfriend.

He was sitting with Cas in the same place they'd sat on the first day they'd talked. Dean was lying on his back with his eyes closed, enjoying the sun, but knowing that the grass was going to make him itch like a bitch later on. Cas was sketching, but Dean wasn't really sure what. "Dean, does it bother you what people are saying?" Cas asked, and Dean didn't even crack an eye open before answering.

"Nah, not really. I'm fine with it, Anna's okay with it- Wait, does it bother you?" Dean asked, opening both eyes and tilting his head so he was looking up at Cas, just in time to see him shake his head. He'd forgotten that it wasn't just him and Anna involved in the new and improved rumours. Cas was too, and Dean didn't even stop to think that maybe Cas wasn't comfortable with it. Wow, he felt like a dick.

"Not particularly," Cas said simply, not looking up from his sketch. "The new attention people are paying to me is making me… Nervous, but I don't mind. As long as you and Anna are both happy, I'm happy." That was definitely a load off Dean's mind. Cas was quickly becoming the closest thing he'd ever had to a best friend, and the last thing he wanted was for that to get screwed up because of a couple of rumours.

Dean closed his eyes again. "Good," he mumbled. "Not ready to give you up just yet…" And the next thing he knew, Cas was nudging him with his foot (not exactly gently either) because apparently he'd fallen asleep and it was time to go to English. Dean didn't think Shakespeare was worth waking up for but Cas did so he heaved himself up off the grass, already feeling the itchiness coming on.

English was spent next to Cas, which despite everyone's initial surprise, had become the normal thing for Dean, which the rest of the class had soon gotten used to. He was kind of proud of himself, too. He was starting to pay attention, wanting to impress Cas, or maybe prove that he actually understood what was going on. If he didn't understand something, Cas would explain it in hushed tones. If the teacher noticed, she didn't say anything, because hey, Dean was turning up to her classes and actually handing in work that was in his own words and handwriting. He'd even handed in an essay and gotten a B.

"Hey Cas," Dean said at the end of the class, while he was packing his books away. "I was thinkin' I might bring Sam 'round to your place this weekend, y'know… Introduce him to all you guys and all that sort of stuff." Dean laughed nervously. "I guess I was just wanted to clear it with you, because he wants to meet you too. Anna's cool with meeting him, Gabriel's already started planning some pranks or something, but if you're not okay, that's fine-"

"Dean," Cas cut him off, and boy was Dean glad, because he wasn't even really sure what he was saying after 'hey Cas'. "It's okay. I'd love to meet the brother I've heard so much about." He gave Dean a small smile.

Dean was glad, but he couldn't help but frown. "How come you don't talk about your family much?" He asked, slinging his bag over one shoulder.

"I don't know. You don't ask, and I thought you would rather hear about them from Anna that me," Cas replied with a shrug as they headed to math. Dean internally winced because yeah, Cas was right. He should want to hear about the Novak family from Anna, right? So why did he want to hear it from Cas instead?

He stopped in the middle of the hall and bit his lip. It only took Cas a couple of steps to realize Dean wasn't next to him anymore. "Dean? What's wrong?" He asked, obviously taking in the look on Dean's face.

Dean looked around, then looked back to Cas. "Look man, I need to tell you something, but you can't go into defensive brother mode, okay? You're… You're like my best friend and I need to tell you this…" God, it sounded like a line out of a chickflick. "I think… I think I'm going to break up with Anna. I really like her, I do, but, I don't know… I'm just starting to do pretty well in my classes, and I figure if I give them my full attention, I might actually be able to do pretty well." He braced himself for some sort of pain or yelling, but it didn't come. He looked up at Cas, who was just watching him. "Aren't you going to yell at me? Tell me I can't break up with your sister? Something?"

Cas just shook his head. "You asked me to listen as a friend. I'm listening as a friend." Dean was so thankful for him in that moment, he couldn't even express it. "But," he continued, and Dean's heart sank. "If you're going to do it, do it soon, because I'm not going to keep this from her for long. If that's what you want to do, that's your business; it's between the two of you. But still, she's my sister."

Dean nodded, totally understanding. He'd do the same if he was Cas. "Yeah, okay, I get it. Thanks Cas." He gave him a smile, slinging an arm over his shoulder. "C'mon, I know how much you hate being late."

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Don't forget to review guys! Not really feelin' the love here. (Not that that means I'm going to stop posting or anything xD) Thanks for reading! :)


	6. Chapter 6

True to his word, Dean approached Anna the next day. He shoved his hands in his pockets, trying not to look as nervous as he felt, because he was Dean Winchester, Anna wasn't the first girl he'd broken up with. Thinking about it, he realised that wasn't something to be proud of. At all. Huh. Sam was definitely going to be the one that found love and got married, because no one was going to stay with Dean long enough for him to get over his issues.

"Hey, what's this about?" Anna asked, stepping away from the group she'd been standing in. Dean knew a lot of them, and a lot of them knew him, but that didn't mean they talked. The cheerleaders were a group of typical teenage girls, who would choke their bedt friend with her own pompom for a chance to get the spot at the top of the pyramid. Anna was different though, and Dean liked that. She made everyone around her happy, so why couldn't he be? What was holding him back? He shook his head, banishing those thoughts, and dragged his eyes back up to Anna's.

"I think we should-" He cleared his throat. This wasn't his first break up, so why was it so hard? Because he actually liked Anna, that's why. He actually felt something for her. It just wasn't… A girlfriend something. That was all he had to say. She would understand… Right? "I think we should break up," he said quickly. "It's not that I don't like you, I do. I really do. But-"

"Dean," she cut him off, placing a friendly hand over his hand. "It's okay. I like you two, but I never thought we were going to get married or anything. We're in high school. I'm not even thinking about any of that. High school is for experimenting. We had some fun, and now it's over. No hard feelings." Anna gave him a smile, withdrawing her hand.

"Seriously?" Dean asked, breathing a sigh of relief. It wasn't like he was glad it was over, but he was glad it was getting over so well. It was almost too good for such a bad situation.

Anna laughed. "Yes, seriously." She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, but Dean could tell it was friendly, nothing more was meant by it. She grinned. "Just don't let this affect things with Castiel, okay?" She said as she started to walk away. "Believe it or not, you're really good for him."

Dean wasn't really sure why, but that made him blush. Yes, he blushed. He was man enough to admit it and move on. He cleared his throat, trying to ignore the burning of his cheeks. "Yeah, I mean me and Cas… We're good. He's great. We're getting along fine. I don't think this… Will mess anything up…" Dean knew he was rambling, but he couldn't stop himself.

Anna, to her credit, just raised an eyebrow at him and nodded. "Alright then," she said with a laugh. "Well, it was fun Dean. Really fun." She winked at him and grinned, then in a twirl of red hair, she was back in her crowd of friends, while Dean was still trying to get his brain to catch up.

When it finally did, he made his way to where he knew Cas would be, the same place he always was. This time, he had a guitar with him. Dean had heard him play a couple of times, and he had to admit, Cas had some pretty serious talent when it came to any sort of art, it seemed, including music. Although, to even the playing field, Cas completely blew when it came to any sort of sport, or shop classes. He just couldn't do it, and Dean could back him up on the truth behind that. He really sucked. The theory behind it all, Cas understood fine, but when it came to putting it into practice… Well. It didn't work so great.

Any sort of art- Singing, drawing, writing, music, anything like that, or math, or science… That was all Cas. But sports, cars, metal and woodwork, that was Dean's area. That was where he could shine, and shine he did.

Dean had never really thought about it in the time he'd known Cas, but they evened each other out. They were almost like a perfect friendship. They could help each other. Dean's grades were already rising, much to the amazement of… Well… Everyone. His attendance was looking better than ever, and Cas actually made a fully functional chair, that didn't collapse when Dean sat in it. Dean had assured him that it was best to take baby steps.

"Hey Cas!" Dean greeted, sitting down next to his friend, who was staring intently at the guitar in his hands. "Man, what's with the death glare? What'd the guitar ever do to you?"

"It's not working," Cas explained. Although, from Dean's point of view, it wasn't much of an explanation at all. But that was how things worked with Cas. Dean knew he'd get the full explanation eventually. "This song… It's just not working…"

Dean knew he couldn't help, not because he sucked at making music, no matter how much he loved to listen to it, but because everything was in Cas' head. The lyrics, notes, everything. Cas didn't write it down until it was perfect. "Well, play it for me. I'll see if I can give you some feedback or something." And Cas did. Dean didn't know what it problem with it was, because it sounded amazing. "Cas, that's awesome. There's nothing wrong with that! There're lyrics too, right? What's it based on?"

Cas looked up at him, for the first time he sat down, and bit hi slip. "Nothing," Cas murmured, looking away from Dean, but Dean wasn't buying it.

"Man, something that good has to be based on something pretty important," he said with a small smile. Dean may not of been able to play, but he knew music, and he could tell when something came from a deep place in someone's heart. "Crush? Old girlfriend? Old boyfriend? Family?" Dean guessed, before Cas shot him a look that shut him up straight away.

Dean had never been on the receiving end of a Novak's shut-the-hell-up-now glare, but he was pretty sure Cas' was the worst. His eyes looked so… Cold. It was almost hard to believe he was looking at the same boy. "My mother," Cas said, standing up, and slinging his bag and the guitar over his back. "It's about my mother." Then, he was gone. This time, Dean didn't have to think about what had just happened, as an overwhelming feeling of guilt settled over him. Wow, he really was a dick.

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Also, if any of you guys have Tumblr, feel free to check me out. My URL's somethingxoutxofxnothing. Mostly fandom stuff. It you want. Drop me a message or something, maybe? I dunno. Anyway, don't forget to review!:)


	7. Chapter 7

Dean had known as soon as Cas walked away that he was in trouble. He knew it even more when Cas refused to talk to him, or even look at him for the rest of the day. Funnily enough, he figured the only way to make things right again would be to talk to his recently ex-girlfriend. Of course, half the school was already aware of the break up, because this girl had over heard them and told that girl, who told her boyfriend, who told his friend and blah blah blah. The social network, as infuriating as it was, held no interest to Dean. He honestly didn't give two craps.

He found Anna easily enough. It wasn't like she was hard to spot, her fire-y hair would stand out anywhere, and he silently sat down next to her. "Cas is pissed at me."

"I've noticed," Anna replied, rather unhelpfully. "You two have been joined at the hip pretty much since you met and now he won't even look at you. What'd you do, Dean?"

Dean frowned. Although it was logical that he would be the one to screw things up, he was still offended. She could have at least pretended that he wasn't a total screw up at everything he did. "Why did you assume it was me?"

Anna rolled her eyes. "Because if he screwed up, I would be talking to him about how you're pissed, but seeing as you're the one that came to me, I'm guessing it's your fault. Am I wrong?" Dean had to hand it to her, it was fair logic. And that smile meant she knew she had won.

"Alright, yeah, okay. "Look, I didn't mean to start anything, alright? He was just… Writing a song, and one thing let to another, next thing I know, your mother came up and Cas is storming off. I mean, I get that it's a touchy subject. My Mom's dead, too, but it was a while ago, right? I'm not saying he should just… Get over it, but shouldn't he at least talk to me? Tell me what's going on in that _impossible _brain of his?!" Dean was getting worked up. He had to take a deep breath to calm himself back down.

Anna seemed… Shocked, to say the least. "Dean… It hit Cas hard." Dean mentally noted that that was the first time heard heard Anna call him Cas instead of Castiel. "This is something that he should probably tell you…" She said softly, giving him a sad, almost pitying smile. "He took it a lot worse than the rest of us. They were close, Mom and Cas. Cas was always… Different. He's never really tried to fit in, so while we were all at friends houses or birthday parties or whatever, Cas stayed home with Mom. I remember coming home once to find them dancing in the living room. She understood him in ways that none of us do. If you want any more details, you're going to have to ask him, but just… Understand that she was pretty much his best friend as well as his Mom." Anna patted him on the shoulder sympathetically, before walking away.

Dean understood now, why Cas was so upset. He knew Cas had been a bit older that he was when he lost his mother, which had to suck even more than Dean knew. And he got the feeling there was something that Anna was leaving out, not sure if Cas would want him to know or not. That was fine, everybody was allowed their secrets, or they should be, as far as Dean was concerned. Cas' business was Cas' business. All Dean wanted was for him to actually communicate in someway, even if it was through Morse Code or something.

He waited until after school to call him, mostly just to see if he'd actually pick up the phone. He didn't. Dean knew that Cas not talking to him, meant Cas wasn't talking to anybody, which wasn't healthy. So, on the grounds of helping his best friend _not _become a hermit, he made his way to the Novak house.

Gabriel let him in, looking unusually serious. Dean knew that Gabe wouldn't look serious even if the house was on fire. The only thing he ever took seriously was his family. Crap. "He hasn't spoken a word to anyone," Gab muttered. "It's not the first time this's happened. It usually happens around this time of the year. He just… Shuts everyone out, doesn't talk and glares at anyone who comes near him. You might have triggered this one, but don't take it personally, we've all done it." That didn't make Dean feel much better at all, still he knocked on Cas' door, hearing the faint sound of very familiar music on the other side. Led Zeppelin, if he wasn't wrong. And Dean was very rarely wrong when it came to his music.

"Cas?" He asked, pushing the door open. Cas' room wasn't neat-freak tidy, like he'd expected it to be. It wasn't messy, exactly, more like… Ordered Chaos. "Cas, buddy, you gotta talk to me, man. I don't know what the hell's going on."

Cas looked up from where he was on his bed, staring at his feet, and Dean could see from the red eyes and the tear streaked cheeks that he'd been crying for a while. Dean sat down next to Cas on the bed. "What's going on, Cas?" He asked softly.

Cas just looked over at him, the silent tears still falling, and whispered, so quietly that Dean would have missed it if he wasn't waiting for a reply. "I killed her, Dean. It was my fault." Of all the things he'd been expecting Cas to say, all the possibilities he'd come up with in his head, Dean could safely say that that was not one of them.


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Sorry about the wait, guys. I had exams for school and life is just a bit all over the place at the moment, but I got there. :) Hope you enjoy it, I'll try to keep the updates coming! And please, keep the reviews coming, I love them! _

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Dean's mouth opened and closed a few times as he tried to figure out what to say. Then, it finally clicked in his brain that his best friend was crying in front of him, and he was standing there like an idiot. What kind of friend was he? "C'mere," he murmured, gently pulling Cas into his arms and holding the other boy against his chest. He didn't know what to say to that, or how he was even supposed to just… Move on, but there was one thing he did know. And that was how to look after someone he cared about when they were upset.

Sammy used to have nightmares all the time when he was younger, and Dean would wake up in the middle of the night to hear Sam screaming at someone who wasn't there. There was nothing he could say, because he didn't know what the hell was going on, after all, Dean was just a kid too, but he would hold Sam close to him, until the tears stopped, then he would press a kiss to his hair and tell him that it would be okay.

And that was exactly what he did with Cas.

"Cas, man, I know what it's like to lose your Mom, okay? And I get it. I know how it feels to want someone to blame, and that someone becomes yourself. But… She'd never want you to blame yourself, would she?" Dean asked, pulling back slightly, but keeping his arms wrapped around Cas' shoulders. When he wasn't pushed away, he took it as a sign to continue. He wasn't used to talking about his mother with anyone, but for Cas, he would try.

"The night my Mom died… I remember it as if it was yesterday, I don't think I'll ever forget waking up to the smell of smoke, and my dad running into my room, giving me Sammy, then telling me to run. And when you're a kid, you do as you told and you don't look back, right? So I took Sammy, and I just ran. I know now that it wasn't my fault. I did as I was told. I was protecting my brother. I would do the same thing again. But… That doesn't mean that ever since that night, I haven't been second guessing myself, wondering if I could have done something to save her." He risked a look over at Cas. Cas wasn't looking at him, but he could tell that he was listening, by the tiny frown he had on his face. "Eventually, even that stopped, because I realized something. I still have Sammy. She died, but he's safe. So I'm going to protect him as much as I can, in her honor. She would want me to. She wouldn't want me to question if I could have saved her, every day." Dean sighed when Cas showed no sign of responding. "There's nothing wrong with getting upset about it sometimes. But you have to accept that she's gone, and she wouldn't want it to take over your life."

Finally, Cas looked up at him, and Dean was pretty sure he felt his heart break at the utterly defeated look on his face. "I ran away," Cas said softly. "I ran away from home, and it was raining, so I called her to ask her to pick me up… She didn't even sound angry, she just sounded… Relieved… She said she'd be there in ten minutes, but she never came. I police officer picked me up half an hour later and told me she'd been in an accident. She-" Cas choked back another sob. "She skidded out of control. She didn't stand a chance, Dean. It was my fault that she was even in the car. So don't try and tell me it wasn't my fault. Don't try and tell me I didn't kill her. Because I did." He rested his head against Dean's shoulder and Dean lifted a hand up to cradle the back off his head. "It was stupid, running away. I was a stupid kid. I was upset." Cas shook his head. "It was stupid, stupid, stupid-"

"Castiel, listen to me," Dean said quietly, but firmly. "You were just a kid. You weren't supposed to make good decisions. That's what you get older for. So you can do stupid things and then learn from your mistakes. D'you understand? Her death wasn't your fault. It was the weather's, and the car's and the tires, and the road's, and hell, we'll even blame God, but it wasn't yours, alright?" Dean didn't get any verbal response, but he did feel Cas nod slightly against his shoulder. He knew it probably wouldn't be that easy. Cas wouldn't be able to just move on like that. But this was a good start.

He held Cas close for as long as Cas needed him to, because Dean knew what it was like to need to be held. It was natural. Eventually, Cas pulled away. "Thank you, Dean," he said softly, not looking up to meet Dean's eye. "And… I'm sorry for… Earlier."

Dean gave him a small smile, ducking his head to look Cas in the eye. "Cas, it's no problem. Really." Dean was kinda honored that Cas had broken down in front of him. At school Castiel didn't really let many people into his life. He didn't talk to anyone who didn't talk to him first, he didn't make eye contact, he didn't socialize. Dean could understand why, of course. The kids at school were assholes who would eat Cas alive if he approached them in his usual manner. But the guy was smart, good looking and could be funny sometimes. With that combination, Cas could have half the school wanting him was best friend, if he so chose. But he didn't choose that. He chose Dean.

Dean was in, now. He was a part of this strange little angel's life, whether he was ready for it or not. He would have to learn to be ready, because Cas trusted him. And Dean was pretty sure he'd never want it any other way.

Trying to ignore the realisation he'd just come to, which was pretty huge for someone like him, he stood up. He was Dean Winchester, after all. Ignoring things was what he did best. "How about we go get a bite? My treat."


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: I'm really sorry about the wait on this one, guys. I was writing it, but then a lot of stuff came up and there was a death in my family and everything was a mess, so yeah. I know I said I'd have it up sooner, but here it is. Hope it was worth the wait. :)_

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Cas let Dean lead the way out to the Impala in silence, which Dean was perfectly okay with. It wasn't like he was expecting the guy to start singing at the top of his lungs about how freakin' amazing his life was, or anything like that. Although he did notice that Cas seemed less than comfortable around his siblings as they walked passed them. The rest of the Novaks seemed worried but not overly, so it obviously wasn't the first time Cas had had an episode like that.

Probably wouldn't be the last either, unfortunately.

Dean lead Cas out of the house with a steady hand on his lower back, but not commanding, and only moved it when they got out to the Impala. "So Cas, this is my baby, baby this is Cas." He grinned widely, and got a small, almost unnoticeable twitch of the lips from Cas in return. "Not many people get to meet her up close and personal on the first date," Dean added with a cheeky wink, which got a huff of a laugh from Cas. That was something.

Dean slid into the driver's seat and watched Cas carefully get in next to him, as if he was scared he would break something. Once Cas was in and had his seatbelt buckled, Dean started the engine and reversed out.

Once it was obvious that Cas wasn't going to say anything, Dean decided that he'd had enough of sitting in silence, and spoke. "So, I know this place, The Roadhouse? Anyway, Ellen - the owner- pretty much adopted me and Sammy, and the burgers are awesome there and I know you like burgers, so..." Dean caught himself. Did he really just say that? Did he really just admit to paying enough attention to Cas to know that his favorite food was burgers, even though Cas had never actually mentioned it? Well, yes, yes he did. Good work Winchester.

If Cas had noticed his little slip up, his break in the façade of not caring, he didn't mention it. But then again, Cas wasn't mentioning much of anything, so Dean, not good with silence and not trusting himself to speak again, turned his music up.

That was when Cas spoke for the first time in their trip. Well, not so much spoke, as he sang. He started singing along to Led Zeppelin, as Dean listened on, not daring to speak incase he jinxed it or spooked him or something. But Cas was singing, and he wasn't singing the way Dean did; singing along and pretending he was good, he was actually a good singer and Dean just didn't know how that was fair.

Cas had told him once that he was good at things because everything was math. Math could be applied to anything to improve it, a long as the basic skill set was there, but he was just naturally good at math and music. Math because he had to be, and music because it was he release. His escape.

Dean realized that he felt exactly the same when he was in his baby, just driving, or working on her. The Impala was the same for him as music was for Cas. A way out, away from the world they found themselves thrown into.

Cas didn't really seem to be paying attention to where they went, and Dean was quite enjoying the sound of Cas' voice mixing with the tape, so he went the long way to the Roadhouse. He didn't want to pull Cas out of the world he'd created just yet.

Finally though, after about ten minutes of stalling, there was no way Dean could drag it out any longer. He pulled the Impala into the Roadhouse's car park, which was tiny, but it did the job, and turned to Cas. "Stay here." He had an idea, and like all of his ideas, it would probably work out brilliantly or freakin' terribly. It was a chance he had to take. For Cas.

Cas nodded and looked over at him with mild curiosity, but Dean just gave him a smile and said, "I'll be back in about ten minutes. That okay?" Cas just nodded again. "Awesome." He made sure to keep to motor running and the music playing.

He walked into the Roadhouse and as soon as he was through the door, the voice of Ellen hit him. "Dean Winchester, where have you been? It's been weeks since we've seen you in here!" Dean smiled sheepishly and let Ellen hit him with the tea towel she was carrying, then she pulled him into a quick hug. "What are you doin' here, anyway? Shouldn't you be at home with your brother?"

Dean shook his head. "Nah, Sammy's got a study date, so me and one of my friends are hanging out for a bit," Dean replied, simplifying the situation as best he could. "So I thought I'd get a couple of the best burgers in town." He gave Ellen a charming smile and she just rolled her eyes.

"One day, someone's goin' to come along, and that smile ain't gunna work on them, Dean. That'll be the person you fall head over heals in love with, because you'll actually have to talk to them." It was Dean's turn to roll his eyes.

"Yeah, okay Ellen. I'll let you know what that happens, okay?" He smirked at her and she nodded. "You better. Now does this date of yours want the whole works on their burger?"

"He's not my date," Dean corrected, following Ellen around the bar. "He's just a friend. But yeah, thanks."

"Hang on," Jo piped up from where she was putting an order through for Ellen to make, and walked into the kitchen, frowning at Dean. "You have friends that are just friends?"

"Shut up," Dean replied, shoving her lightly. If he had a sister, Jo would be it, for sure. She was always teasing him and getting into his business.

"No, but seriously, who is this… 'Just friend'?" She asked. "It was a guy, right? What's his name?" Great, now Ellen was watching him, waiting for an answer. There was no way he was getting out of the kitchen alive if he didn't provide on.

"Castiel. His name is Castiel. And he's my friend. Nothing more than that." Dean looked between the two of them, Ellen nodded slowly and Jo gave him a small smirk, before walking away.

Dean thought it was over. He should be so lucky. About a minute later, Jo came back. "Are you sure? Because he's cute."

"_Oh my_ _God,_" Dean groaned. "Ellen, how long until those burgers are ready and I can get myself out of this chick flick?"

"About five minutes," she replied, not looking at all like she was going to jump to Dean's defence any time soon.

"Oh my God." It was official. He would be a chick by the time he finished talking to Ellen and Jo. He'd have boobs and all.

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